i've got some catching up to do

*BULA FELLOW READERS! (....if anyone actually reads this, i appreciate you....) as you may have (or have not) noticed, i've been a little MIA for the past 2 months. i don't quite know how to fill you in on what has been going on in my life, but i will try my best because i've got some catching up to do.
i honestly feel like time is escaping me. i just read over the last entry i posted in may and it feels as though a century has passed since those things happened!! i am so grateful for the passing time however, and am very pleased to announce that we have hit the 15th and 16th month marks ladies and gents. oh yes, only 8 MORE MONTHS TO GO!!!! i know i know, i can hardly believe it myself. lately, i find myself day dreaming of his homecoming and imagining what it might be like to hold each other again or just to look into those big green/blue/brown/golden (yes, he really has all those colors) eyes and have them look back into mine with the same love, yet stronger. before i get into the details of what i imagine, i better sum up what has been going on for the past 2 months.

fifteen months = fifteen sand dollars from Fiji 

sixteen months = sixteen flags because it was 2 days after july 4th! 

(and sorry, i kinda just realized the flags are on the ground but i didn't mean it in a rude intentional way. i very much respect the flag and appreciate the freedoms we have by living in america. happy late 4th of july!)

JUNE:
*BULA = "hello" in Fijian
i went to NADI, FIJI :) i had the opportunity to serve the local school children and start the building process of a kindergarten classroom, office and bathroom. i cannot begin to describe the love i felt as i served the school children. my heart is so incredibly full from each experience in which i truly witnessed the love of Christ encompassing me through other people. because of this experience, i have come home with a different perspective. i have seen how the beautiful people of Fiji live, realizing that it does not matter how much you have, but WHO you have and how you spend your time with them. i knew this concept before, but understood it better after experiencing Fijian love. i have never met a more kind and humble people... we had to be careful with what we complimented them on because if you say something like, "oh i really like your shirt" they will literally take it off their back and give it to you. AH! the world would be a grander place if everyone had the heart of a Fijian. while on the work site, the little school children would yell our names from their classroom windows, encouraging us every single day because it was demanding work. for the 10 days we went to the work site, we would wake up at 6:45 am, eat breakfast, board the bus by 7:30. then we would drive about a half hour to the school, arriving around 8:00-8:15 am. our days usually lasted about 8 or 9 hours - working; shoveling, mixing cement, pouring, laying cinder block...etc. - and then we'd get back on the bus, head to the hotel, wash up, eat dinner, have a devotional/scripture study, go to sleep, then wake up and do it all over again. seeing the kids and being with them every single day made everything worth it though. as exhausted as we all grew to be, we knew that seeing a single smile from a child in Fiji would lighten our moods and uplift us in ways no one really understood. it's an indescribable feeling i tell you; how such simplicity can bring such joy. those kids have the time of their LIVES just playing rugby and netball! also asking for "chewing gum" ha ha ha! they literally swarm you for american goodies. i thought i was going to get trampled a few times. i had kids coming up to me and they always said, "you know my name?" and i would say their name and they'd say, "you remember my name tomorrow, so you can bring me chewing gum. you remember my name, okay? tomorrow. chewing gum." HA! just remembering all of this makes me smile ear to ear. i miss them very dearly.

**WARNING**

you are about to experience picture overload. #sorrynotsorry ;)

cutest kids from the school :)

every time you'd take a picture, the Fijian kids favorite thing to do was the peace sign

look at those smiles :D

swarming me for little rainbow looms that my sister made

**WORK SITE**

this started out as grass. absolutely nothing here!

we dug out all of the trenches with shovels!! 

cinder block foundation

had to pack down all the orange dirt to get ready for the cement pad pouring! we thought we'd be artsy and get a picture of the HEFY FIJI 2014 :)

getting ready for cement pad pouring

hand prints in the wet cement 

after the cement pad was dry, we began the cinder block layers for the walls

more layers

bathrooms

office space 

picture of the crew on our last work site day

**END OF WORK SITE PICTURES**

while in Fiji, we were also able to attend church in the Nadi ward for 2 sunday's and participate in FHE, ward activities...etc. the moment we stepped onto the church grounds, we were greeted and loved and hugged and i had never felt more at home away from home in my life. i really grew to love each member differently and consider them family, as they do to each of us. i can't fully explain what the feeling was like in the ward... so much Christlike love.... the Fijian's always explained it somewhat like this, "we are all family, we just haven't seen each other in a really long time" :) and i loved that! they completely accepted us as family and it was beautiful, just as Christ would. here are some of the cute girls that i fell in love with from the ward. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!!!!!

(left to right) - Luisa, Erin, Vani and Aggie :) my beautiful beautiful girls <333

i was so blessed to travel to Fiji! i would go back in a heart beat just to visit with my new friends and family. however, i can say that if there were ANY OTHER WAY to get to Fiji besides plane, i would travel that way. the 12 hour flight absolutely killed me. i hate hate hate hate flying now because of this trip ha ha ha! 

on a different note, but still having to do with Fiji.... my amazing and wonderful grandfather Ronald Keith Thurman passed away on father's day in the states while my father and i were still in Fiji. this was not unexpected, yet still heartbreaking as we heard the news from a phone call early monday morning. my dad had actually been giving a devotional the very moment my mom called. he was explaining to the group how his father was doing and that we were just waiting to hear how grandpa was doing that day. as soon as he said, "we're just waiting to hear..." the phone rang. literally. my dad answered and sure enough, granddad had passed away. i loved my granddad. he was a man a little words, but GREAT faith. he fought long and hard, but i know he is in a better place. we returned home from Fiji on a thursday and granddads viewing was on friday and the funeral was saturday. for the funeral service, my grandfathers wish was to have each of his grandchildren and great grandchildren wear the jersey's he had collected throughout his lifetime. my amazing family fulfilled his wish that day and it was a beautiful tribute to him. :) we love and miss you gramps! 

because i was in Fiji, i didn't get the opportunity to email joe. on the last day though, our trip leaders gave us our phones back and i was able to check my email andddddd.... EMAILS FROM JOE :') i could hardly breathe! ha ha! he sent me the cutest, i just love him. he said:

"Querida Myranda,
How are you? How was your trip to Fiji?? I bet you were working a lot.
It is truly humbling to go to another country and to see how humbly
the people live. I am sure it opened your eyes. More importantly I
know that the Lord opened your eyes even more.
Myranda I want you to know that I love the Lord more than anyone or
anything else. I know that my Savior lives and that He loves me. This
is HIS eternal plan and we are just a part of it.
Myranda I heard about your grandfather. I know that you will see him
again. More importantly I know that you know. Don´t be sad but rejoice
the Lord is King he is our captain and he triumped over death. He
lives and he loves you. I want you to know that I do as well. If I
could I would triumph death, but I can´t, I would pay for your sins,
but I can´t despite my desire and love and burning concern for you I
would not be sufficente because of my own sins and weaknesses. However
know this. I would and will give my life for you.
I pray some of God´s love in this letter will touch your heart. Deeper
that I have ever before.
This is my wish and prayer.
More importantly this is my testimony that God lives and that he loves us.
This is my testimony in the name of Jesus Christ amem.
Èlder Cook"

IS THAT NOT THE CUTEST THING EVER??? oh my gosh. i am so in love with this guy! i ADORE HIM! he is perfect.
it's been a while since i've heard from him though. he is a zone leader and super busy, so he hardly has time to write me and when he does... it's just simple. yet i am still grateful he writes me at all to be honest. sometimes i wish i could send him a long email with every detail and description about how i feel... but... then i think, i don't wanna be that girl. ;) ha ha ha! i can't distract him. only 8 more months. only 8 more months. i just have to remember that! like i mentioned in the very beginning, i have been day dreaming SO much! i even had a dream the other night about him coming home and it was one of the best dreams. we got to see each other and hangout and he was hugging me and holding me and it was just the cutest thing. in my dream though, his mom came over to us and was like, "joe you have other family that wants to see you too... come on, come see them." ha ha ;) so he was spending too much time with me in my dream apparently. hopefully that doesn't happen when he actually comes home (as in, he'll get to spend as much time with me as he wants and not get pulled away by his mom). ♥♥♥♥ I CAN'T WAIT FOR HIM TO COME HOME ♥♥♥♥

okay, ALSO while i was in Fiji (i swear everything happened while i was gone) two of my best and dearest friends left for their missions! it was theeeee strangest feeling coming home and having no texts from victoria or ellie and realizing that i wouldn't see either of them for a YEAR AND A HALF :( i am so proud of them though. they are so brave for serving missions! i wish i was that strong. 

LOOK! THEY FOUND EACH OTHER :') :') :') this picture made my life 

JULY:

so july... we returned home from Fiji, stayed busy with granddads funeral service and what not and then we got to relax for a couple days. on july 6th, (joe's 16th month mark!) we flew out to st. louis for the week to attend a "Scentsy Family Reunion"/convention. it was great! we (my parents and i) attended some meetings and breakout sessions and we learned more about our businesses and what we can do to improve them. Scentsy had the band "train" and sara bareilles do private concerts for us, which was awesome! (i only went to train though!) i met a bunch of people that my parents associate themselves with and now they are my friends too! it was fun being around so many nice and enthusiastic people. i really enjoyed it. 

i have also been looking for another job this month! i went and gave my resume to deseret book in american fork, and am planning on giving it to the one in orem as well. i may give it to seagull book just to try too, but we'll see. 

anyways. i think that's everything? it's been so long i don't really know what to update on because i feel like i've missed everything. ha ha ha! 

sorry to post not on the 6th of the month... anybody else's OCD going to drive them insane when they look at all the post dates? yeah, me too. i was so behind though, so i decided to update today! thanks again for reading, but don't worry, i'll be back in like 4 weeks. let's hope something worth writing about happens by then ;) 

take me back...

where is the time going? it's moving so fast i can't even process thoughts. 14 months today! only 10 more to go... ahhhh :)

fourteen months = fourteen customs forms/receipts

(from his packages/letters..etc.)

such an amazing view.... oh and the ocean is pretty too, i guess ;)

over the past month, i moved my church records into a Young Single Adults ward and i absolutely love it. i didn't think i would honestly, but the people there inspire me every day. i adore the relief society president and all the counselors because they helped me feel so welcomed into the ward and they continue to do so every sunday. i'm really hoping we can all become good friends; especially the president! i think i text her every week hahahah. i probably annoy the heck out of her, but i just love her. she's so sweet and caring.

so before singles ward, i can be straight up, guys didn't give me a second glance, okay? well recently, all these guys having been introducing themselves to me and i'm like, wait what? are you talking to me? hahah! it's so funny. i just love it though because i'm meeting so many new people and that's exactly what i need right now. i'm so happy. 

okay, now we get to talk about my Joe. AHHHH! where to even begin? first off, i got a letter in the mail from brazil, but it wasn't from Joe. it was from a sister missionary who served with him. she wrote me the sweetest little note that said, "i wanted to let you know how much he loves and adores you (...) the members say he is the best missionary to ever pass through the mission (...) hang on to him, you two will change the world." i was so grateful for her letter. i couldn't believe it actually made it to me because it took a month and a half to get here. but i loved hearing about Joe from someone else :) and the members say he's the best missionary to ever pass through the mission? i am SO PROUD of him. he is the best. i always knew he would be the best. he is so dedicated and righteous and loving and caring and holds every Christlike quality you could mention. i love him so much! 

his emails have been the cutest they've ever been, lately. (probably because it was my birthday on may 4th and he was being extra nice to make up for being away, but i was completely fine with that). in his past emails, he has never actually written out the words, "i love you." i mean, he has always hinted at it... or typed it like, "i lo.. y.." or something funny, but last monday.... he opened up and wrote me some of the most touching and beautiful emails i've ever received. they are very special of course, so i won't give specifics, but he flat out said he is still in this with me and when he gets home, he will ask me to be his wife. he also mentioned that if i wanted to serve a mission, i should go. there would be no worry about him waiting for me. but i'm still trying to figure out what i'm going to do. (my life is so complicated. ups and downs are insane with this mission thing). UGHHHHH! as of right now though, i'm not going. anyway. we got to talk for two hours last monday, which was so great. i was the happiest girl in the whole wide world! 

i got a few pictures of him over the month and when i zoomed in, i noticed that he was wearing the CTR ring i gave him. i don't know why i was so surprised, but it made me so happy he wears it :') he makes me feel so special, and i hope i make him feel the same. i cannot picture life without him. truly. i just can't and don't ever want to. i fully, totally and completely need him and want him in my life, forever and always. i will never let him go! he's too special and important.

my first year of college is officially over. the last few finals i took were on may 1st. thank heavens it's SUMMER! i finished my second semester with a GPA a little lower than 4.0 :( thanks to my history final - i didn't do the greatest, which really really stinks, but i'm trying not to get upset over it. i tried my best. 

i leave for FIJI in like, 27 DAYS! this is just crazy. i haven't even started packing or gather supplies or anything. i should probably get on that quickly. I CANNOT WAIT!

i mentioned earlier that my birthday was on may 4th. it was a really great day! i went to church, came home and had a family dinner and then invited some friends over for cake and ice cream. my cake was incredibly delicious: chocolate with raspberry filling. oh yessss. so good. after cake, 8:00 pm rolled around and that is when my YSA ward has a ward prayer. i invited all my friends to come with me (only one couldn't go) and we all headed over to a member of the bishoprics house. after the thought and prayer, IT WAS SO FUN!!! i mean, it started out kinda slow and we were almost about to leave... but i made us stay and i'm so glad i did. boys were coming up to me and my friends all over the place introducing themselves, thanking me for my testimony (which i shared in sacrament earlier that day!), small talk, new people... and then this guy ended up pulling out a guitar and playing songs all night while everyone sang along. it was one of the funnest ward prayer nights i've been to! the relief society president and i talked for a little while because i forgot that earlier that day, i sent her a text and was going to ask her a dumb question. however, i didn't have my phone hardly with me so when she replied back, i didn't ever answer. she was wondering why i didn't answer back and made sure to ask me if everything was okay. so nice :) hahah, i was like, "umm yes? why?" i forgot i hadn't texted her back ever. anyway. after our little talk, she ended up yelling out to everyone "IT'S MYRANDA'S BIRTHDAY!!!!" so they all sang to me. it was way nice and i'm sure my face was bright red. we had some funny jokes between me and her (the president) about Katy Perry's song "Birthday". she's like, "Myranda would like to request birthday...." hahahahaha i'm like, "Woman, that song might be inappropriate for this setting." she just starts laughing her head off. oh my gosh! i adore her. my birthday day ended really fun. 

here's a few birthday pics:

my amazing friends!

happy 19th birthday to me! 

after the ward prayer/party, i had a really good heart to heart with one of my dearest friends at my house. we talked about our missionaries and how hard it was to say goodbye, our feelings on certain subjects.. etc. we were both in tears re-living the emotions over again. it was really nice to cry though because i haven't cried or relived those emotions in such a long time. i actually loved it because it made me realize just how much i miss Joe. This past monday was SO GREAT as well! he got online and we were able to talk for about an hour and a half-ish? our conversation led into old memories, and i was so surprised when i got an email with at LEAST 20 memories listed!!! i was crying!!! i could remember every moment he'd written down and i could feel him near me :) it was the beeeeeest! i wish i could just go back to all those times and be with him again. i seriously cannot wait for these next 10 months to FLY BY. 

he listed all of these things from the top of his head. 

i was very impressed! the ending gets me every time <33 :)

LOVE HIM!

Okay? Okay.

13 months today!:) this month has been a crazy ride of ups and downs, that's for sure. i thought it was going to get easier... buuuut, i was wrong. it seems to be getting harder and scarier as the time goes on. you realize that after so much time, you begin to wonder if things will truly play out like you'd always planned. it's probably the worst feeling, but i'm doing my best to just ignore it.

thirteen months = thirteen letters 

to update Elder Cook, he is doing absolutely fantastic. he is loving helping and serving others just as he always has. he was made district leader and put into a new area, una, where one of the girls i talk with on facebook is from. he gets to baptize in the river in this area, and he loves that. he is amazed by the creatures he sees in brazil... like snakes, bats, and different insects :\ it freaks me out a little cause i need him to be safe, and he's a boy and thinks he can get close to take pictures (ahhh!) but over all, he's happy, healthy, and doing very well. i am proud of him. the internet connection is horrible, so our time to talk is very limited. sometimes he doesn't even get to write me. but i know he's busy and will write when he can. Joe's birthday was on march 26!! he's a big boy now ;) 20 years young. i can't believe it. i'm so happy he was born on that very special day. the world would be no world at all without Joseph Brent Cook :) i made sure to send a special birthday/early easter package.

UNA

Joe's birthday/easter package

the month of march was really getting me down and i questioned myself more than i should have on many things. i won't go into details, but i was feeling completely abandoned spiritually, physically and mentally. i have had struggles before... when i was 16-17 years old i dealt with major major depression and this past month, it felt like it was coming back. the only way i felt worth anything before was because joe made me feel so. with what has been going on this month however, it was like i was worthless again. there's a saying that goes something along the lines of... "isn't it wonderful when you find someone who can make you smile, but they also end up being the reason you're broken." (i could have totally made that up, which i did, but you get what i mean right?) all the people around me care for me and lift me up, i just wasn't feeling it at all. i also felt like heavenly father wasn't hearing my prayers. i was being selfish in this thought though, i realize. it's not that he wasn't hearing me, i just wasn't willing to hear and listen to him. i think i've been looking for answers that i want to hear and now what he knows i NEED to hear. i'm working on these issues and am trying harder to accept the will of god rather than painting my own picture. it's been hard. and i still struggle. but i'm trying.

i'm so grateful for conference!! what a wonderful weekend. i learned SO much and felt the spirit strongly. i felt like all the talks in this morning's session (sunday) were being spoken directly to me. here's what i loved and learned:
-----i loved President Uchtdorf's talk and his quote, "How much of life do we miss waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God for the rain?" how true is that? and if you think about it, without the rain, there wouldn't even be a chance for a rainbow! without trials and struggles in our lives, we wouldn't know the difference between joy and pain. there would be no opposition.
-----i also loved sister Jean A. Stevens' and her quote, "The gospel is not weight. it is wings. it carries us." i was so inspired by her wording on this!! so cheesy, but it literally took my breath away. (the poet side in me!) the gospel gives us more freedom and strength in the eternal perspective. it will carry us as far as we allow it to... even to becoming like our Master, Father and God himself.
-----next, Bishop Stevenson's talk and his idea of a "4 minute performance." this wasn't his quote but my own, "You only have 4 minutes, so what are you gonna do about it?" what are we going to do to run our race and claim our prize? we have checkpoints in this life, spiritual markers that help us along the way. i loved his quote, "The miracle of the atonement can make up for the imperfections in our performance." Christ has made up all the difference. because of the atonement, we are saved. but that doesn't mean we don't have something to do, something to give back in our performance to Him. we have to strive to do our best, for Him.
-----David A. Bednar and his idea/truck story of carrying our own load helped me put trials into perspective. it's so true that though they weigh us down, that extra load or spiritual traction gives us the ability to push forward... even when we don't realize that it gives us the power to do so.
-----President Monson's talk. oh don't even get me started! i loved his quote(s), "Love is the very essence of the gospel." and "You may forget your kind words today, but the recipient will cherish them forever." and "Blame keeps wounds open, only forgiveness heals." YES! the last quote struck me hard. having struggles, dealing with certain issues, and feeling like you yourself are to blame i think everyone has at some point in life) is difficult. but we have to be able to forgive ourselves for the mistakes we've made and will make. if we keep blaming ourselves, the wounds will never heal and you will never move past the mistake.
-----and then in the last session, L. Tom Perry's talk really impressed me. i loved his analogy about the "horse team" and how the driver is the Lord and the harness and bit are the spirit. i used to ride horses and it's true, if you barely tug, the horse will turn. if only we were always that sensitive to the voice of the spirit! basically, we need to be like horses!!!;) hahah

by the way, after conference, i made this picture and LDS General Conference shared it on facebook and it currently has over FOUR THOUSAND "likes" NOW! how freaking cool is that??

over the month, DIVERGENT also came out and i am completely obsessed. literally. i've seen it 3 times and counting. also, just the other day, i read "The Fault in Our Stars" in one day. anyone ever heard of that book? well, don't read it unless you want to cry for the rest of your life. (UGH!) seriously. i didn't expect what was coming at all and i completely lost it. i'm SO EXCITED FOR THE MOVIE, but i'll be in Fiji when it comes out. i'll have to wait a little extra while, but i am going to the theater by myself with a box of tissues. Okay? okay. -insert hysterical sob here- (p.s. i named my post after something special in the book. it gets me every time.)

selfies in the theater || DIVERGENT 

:( -sobs sobs sobs sobs sobs- :(

when you see this movie, you will not be able to breathe. ahhhhhh :'(

school is getting close to the end and i'm doing so well. i don't mean to brag but i have a 4.0 and i am so proud of myself. i wasn't my best in high school and usually didn't get near 4.0. but i've been keeping up in college and i consider that a huge accomplishment.

also this month, one of my dearest friends got her mission call! ALASKA BABY! seriously couldn't have been a more perfect call for her. she will be one heck of a missionary and i am so proud of her:)

Ohhh, we're half way there!!

absolutely cannot believe i get to say this.... but.... WE HIT 12 MONTHS TODAY! ONE YEAR DOWN BABY! YES! YAY! OH MY! SO EXCITED!
OHHHH WE'RE HALF WAY THERE! OOOOOHHHHH! LIVIN' ON A PRAYER!!!;) i feel like this song is so relevant right now. hahaha!
no seriously, if feels like he left yesterday, but it has also been soooooo long. i don't know how to describe time accurately. all i know is that i have officially made it over the hump and it will be easy peasy from here on out :)
tonight, my family is celebrating with a missionary cake (we had made!) and a movie! we'll probably watch 'the best two years' or something. we're gonna take pictures and then send them to my joe! hahaha i'll wear my 'missionary girlfriend' sweatshirt and everything! it's gonna be so fun!

ooooooh we're half way there!! ohhhh livin' on a prayer ;)

twelve months = 365 days = 365 rhinestones  

YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY!

twelve months = 365 days apart

FINALLY this pie is half way! 

twelve months = 365 days until i get to see him AGAIN!:)

emails with my cute boy have been so funny and adorable. just the other day, he was online and kept asking me to ask him a question. well i'm over here like, 'what in the world does he want me to ask?' after a few emails sent back and forth, i finally sent one back that said, 'do you still love me?'
his response:
"if anything i love you even more now.... forgive me of all my sins i have said or done to you or anyone else. i promise to devote all of my heart mind and strength to one cause and that is to be loving you."
OKAY. how CUTE IS THAT???? MY HEART! i almost died. he is so amazing to me! the conversation then went on for another couple minutes and he told me to ask him another question.... so, being funny, my mom told me to ask him "can i plan our wedding yet?";) he wrote back to me, "you just made my heart stop..." he then emailed my MOM and said, "hey mom-in-law, tell her she can go ahead and plan whatever she'd like!" hahahahahah!!! oh so funny. i love this kid:)

i found out that my last christmas box AND my valentines day box made it to him! remember how i was so convinced that my last christmas box was stolen? i mean, i sent it in NOVEMBER! but it made it!!! yay!!! he loved them he said. especially the valentines day one with the tie that i stitched the heart into.

last month i posted about an AB challenge that my friend and i were working on - totally finished! i didn't skip a night or anything. all in all i completed 2,625 crunches, 1,050 leg raises and 2,475 seconds worth of plank in 30 days. it actually toned me up a little. it probably would have worked better however if i hadn't eaten so much crap while doing it buuuuut, what do ya do?;)

my adorable little girl that i help nanny for just had a 3rd birthday! my little sister and i went to the birthday party on monday and oh my goodness, she is absolutely the most adorable little thing. also, the gift we brought was totally her favorite of the night! woot woot! we gave her a little mini princess tent thing, a new "fort-a" as she would call it. she carried it around with her and it was in every picture she took with someone! haha! so happy she loved it.

she's adorable!!!:) and you can see her new "fort-a"!

me, hailey and myrissa

nothing else to majorly exciting happened this month. february did go by so quickly. i've just been keeping up in school and work (and i actually am really proud of myself because i have maintained a 4.0!) yet it feels like i am doing the same things every day over and over and over. recently, i've had a few friends open their mission calls, and some have left to serve! it's so great to see all these amazing missionaries heading out. the lord needs them all so much.

time for a random paragraph. over one saturday afternoon, i was so insanely bored, i decided to take the time and draw a picture of the new Disney queen, Elsa. i am in love with the movie frozen! it comes out march 18:) yay!

at the beginning of march, i finished reading the Book of Mormon (in my personal study) for the 6th time. it truly amazes me how strong the spirit is while finishing such a book. i LOVE moroni's words at the end... he says that he "lies not" about the truthfulness of the scriptures. i find it so comforting that while writing the scriptures (i believe it was either mormon or moroni) one of them thought that his weakness in writing would cause a problem to those that would read it. he thought they would not fully understand it and appreciate what was being written. that is when the Lord comes in and says the weaknesses we are given will be made strong. it is so comforting to know and realized that the Lord actually does GIVE us those weaknesses with a purpose. He helps us become strong and allows us to eventually use those weaknesses to our advantage - sometimes to help other people - or to just learn and grow for ourselves.

i have learned and thought a lot about the atonement this week. my amazing sister missionary friend Mai sent me an email that nearly brought me to tears. she wrote: 
"I know that the Atonement is real. I've experienced so much feelings of inadequacy, fear, sadness, frustration, etc. I've felt those moments when there's no end, no light. No joy, no laughter. So much sadness your heart is about to explode. Then there's that empty feeling. That feeling of sheer exhaustion when you can't go anymore. But you can. You can through Jesus Christ. All things are possible through Him. He who knows your name. He who knows adversity, better than anyone. He who loves you beyond what you can even imagine. He who has felt and experienced exactly what you're going through and feeling. If I could have a minute with my Savior, I would thank him, if I could find the words through my tears of gratitude. If I had a moment to speak with Him I would cry and tell him I'll keep going. I will do my best. I would pledge to Him that I will keep going.... Opposition and adversity is a necessary part of life. How could we grow if we didn't have struggles? Missions have a way of highlighting all of the insecurities and weaknesses that we have. But it's only because we are becoming more like Him. How could we expect it to ever be easy for us when it was never, ever easy for Him?"

she inspires me so much. she's been struggling on her mission and then writes this. look how much she has grown! i love it. i would hope and pray that each of us can understand and realize the importance of the atonement in our lives. always remember that you cannot sink lower than the arms of the atonement can reach. Christ will ALWAYS be there for you. always. we are given trials to help us grow, and to help us reach our full potential. just like sister Mai said, there will be opposition and adversity... it's just a part of this mortal life. what we as children of God must do is prove that we can overcome these challenges with the help and strength the Savior provides.

month of love

happy february everyone:) it's the month of love! while it may be so exciting for all the women in the world who actually get to spend time WITH their man, all i have to say is....

hahahaha just kidding, just kidding! but it will be a pretty sad and a harder day for all the lovely MGs.

month 11 came so quickly! the new year is already flying by and i am grateful for that! i am especially excited that there is only ONE more month until we hit the year mark! ahhh! how crazy!

eleven months = eleven Valentines hearts :) 

elder cook is doing well. he recently just got transferred to a new area, one that he and his companion opened. they are both doing wonderful things :) remember how i mentioned a young girl added me on facebook from brazil last month? weeeell, ANOTHER one added me! and this girl was in joe's area before he just got transferred. he is still somehow able to visit her and help her when he can. i love it way to much because she sends me pictures of him the days he comes over! hahah she's the cutest! i guess joe shared my family story with her and told her about me. he told her i could help her, so we talk on facebook all the time! i answer her questions about the church, give her encouragement, scriptures or anything she needs basically. it's so awesome to think that joe and i are helping the same girl :) i am helping with his investigators!!!! it makes me smile knowing i can do that. that joe and i can work as a team, together, even 5,000 miles apart. <33

trying to be a show off ;)

 

some things that have happened over the month-
my family and i went to disneyland! that was way fun. i was only there for a few days. my family flew out earlier than me because i had to stay and go to school. i flew out on a friday, and we came home that sunday.

i found out that KATY PERRY is coming to utah:) one of my closest friends and i (plus my little sister) got VIP tickets! that includes meet and greets with floor seats right next to the stage. ahhhhh! the concert isn't until september 29th, but we bought early just because. the public sale started at 10am on a monday and by 5:00pm that night, they were completely sold out! i tried messing around even just to see if i could get one ticket and nothing came up. it's crazy.

i've been busy busy with school. my classes this semester require a lot of time for homework. i'm taking math, history, english and a student success class. i enjoy them, but i hate them. at least they DO keep me busy, that way time passes quicker and i don't worry about joe so much.

i went and tried on wedding dresses with my mom a while back. it was so fun, but probably the hardest thing ever. hahah! i felt so bad for the lady who was helping us - her name was Barbie, by the way - how cool? she was so cute! i eventually narrowed it down to two dresses. at first, i thought i found THE dress. then i tried on another one one more time and i literally couldn't choose. they both had things that i loved. if one had a long train, the other had a short train. if i loved the long train, it had less lace. one was more vintage, the other more modern. one we'd have to alter a bit, the other we could leave alone. it was SO HARD! i asked my mom which she could really see me in and she said both. in the end, Barbie told me to go home and think about it. my mom was totally fine with actually purchasing one of the dresses, i just... couldn't decide. after thinking about it for a while though, i realized that buying a dress early might ruin fate or my karma or something. haha so i told my mom to forget it and that was that.
these are the two dresses that i couldn't decide on:

 

i sent joe his valentines day package! i am PLEADING with the Lord that this package gets there. his last christmas package never made it, which i am so bummed about, but this valentines day one has to. i put the cutest things inside.

 

i stitched the heart :)

also, i'm so excited because i saved a valentines day card that he gave me last year to open this year. it's my last "open when" letter though (that i got from him before he left) so it will be a bitter sweet moment to open it.

in other random news, on the first of this month, my friend and i started an ab challenge. i'm so excited to keep it up. so far it's been good. i've decided i need to start working out and getting fit. it's almost swimsuit season ;)

other than simple everyday life activities, nothing else really has been going on. life passes, ya know? there aren't always crazy exciting things to write about every month, but i do what i can to make these post interesting ;)

i've really been trying to focus on my Savior and Father in Heaven lately. i pause during the day to remind myself of the bigger picture. i think of the Lord and Heavenly Father and what they could be doing at that moment. i try to remember the sacrifices joseph smith, and those who followed him, made. i'm trying to be better. i'm trying to keep the spirit with me always. i've been studying my scriptures and from preach my gospel. since the beginning of the year, i haven't missed a chapter in the Book of Mormon! (i mean, i never missed reading a night anyway, but i've been reading the WHOLE chapter, no matter how long it is). i've also been trying to pray more intently in hopes that some of my prayers will be answered. i believe He hears me, most of the time. i just need to remind myself that i should KNOW He hears me all of the time. if that makes sense.

i'm grateful for this gospel. i say it often but that's because it's something that should be said. if anyone even reads these posts, and the only thing you ever remember, i would hope it would be that you know i love the Lord. i would hope you remember that i am grateful for the gospel and for the sacrifices people made to bring it forth. i love this work! i love missionary work! i would be nowhere without the love and support Heavenly Father and Christ give me.